Funniest Out-of-office Auto-Reply of the day

From Alan Cross, OnGoingHistory.com I'm not here and for that, I apologize. I've failed you. And I feel shame. But I am being punished for this transgression. I'm currently enduring the indignities of air travel: endless security lines, shuffling in sock feet past the surly demons determined to take my precious gels and liquids and overweight fellow passengers in the middle seat who ooze out over both armrests after insisting on taking up the entire overhead compartment with their steamer trunk. And it's a 4 1/2 hour flight. If you need something immediately, shoot an email to n____@_____.com or m___@_____.com. Failing that, I'll try and get caught up on all outstanding email over the weekend. Pray for me. Alan has always had a great sense of humour, and now I'm even more a fan.Some other funny options you can put on your computer when you're away from your desk next... I am out of the office Feb 23 to Feb 24 with limited access to Blackberry. I'll do my best to respond to your email as soon as I can... How does someone have limited access to Blackberry? Can't reach your pocket? Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 332nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 18 weeks. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management. Hi! I’m busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don’t bother to leave me any messages. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for personal medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Danielle’ instead of ‘Daniel’. Classic!